Saturday 24 January 2015

Its's the little things........!

Firstly I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying 2015 so far, today I didn't plan to write a post but sitting here now I feel like I maybes need to.

Just after New Year I was feeling a little down about my weight and decided to try and focus on the good parts of my life rather than the not so good. Have you ever heard the saying 'Misery loves company?' well I have noticed for a couple of months that my Mam has been quite down, I think she's worried about me, her health and our home at the minute.

My Mam is exactly like me, exactly! Most people see us as sisters rather than mother and daughter, so seeing my Mam, in my opinion depressed made me stop and think.

I made it my mission to wake up happy, smile more and try to at least appear happier, fake it until you make it I guess. It worked at least to cheer my Mam up.

I have started a new eating plan which I may go into further down the line, this was my first week, no treats, no cheats I stuck to the plan 100% and lost 5.5lbs, great? no I wanted to lose more, it completely knocked me and I couldn't see the point in continuing with it.

Now I know 5.5lbs is an amazing weight loss however, doing the same plan I have followed it half heartedly and lost more weight so I was not happy, that brought me back down.

If you follow me on twitter you may have seen that I applied for a design job and found out yesterday that I never got it, that also brought me down.

Today I woke up with the feeling of ''Why do I bother' and feel really low. Now to someone who maybes isn't living with depression the outlook would be completely different. They may have expected a higher weight loss, but were still happy with the loss they got and continued on the plan, yes they never got the job but theres always future opportunities and they were just simply not what they were looking for for that particular role.

I know I am being irrational and pathetic but its the tiny little set backs that knock me really low, something so simple shouldn't make you question your worth or your life. When I am happy I am up in the clouds and when I am down I am in such a dark place.

All these 'little' things shouldn't have this sort of effect, but knowing that is the way I approach things has made it easier to notice the difference between my depression and 'normal' sadness.

From now on I suppose I need to be an adult about things, in no way am I belittling depression but I need to snap out of it, see things for what they are and dust myself off and march on! (sorry watched les Miserables last night!)

Maybes you have experienced something similar or noticed someone close that gets very down with the 'little' things, how do you pull yourself around and march forward?

Thanks for Reading

Tracy xx

6 comments:

  1. Hi dear! I'm reading your post with the help of Google Translate, I hope to understand everything !!! You've written some really sensitive words! sensitive. It is not easy to answer this question.....is very personal. I think that life is made of moments. Good times and bad. Right now I'm living a very ugly. Then there are times when high and low moments. No ones lives forever at the top, it would not be possible. We must fight against the bad things and push the accelerator in good times and high. I wish you much happiness. Sorry for my bad english (I'm Italian and Use Translate).Have a nice day, kisses,
    Eni

    Eniwhere Fashion
    Eniwhere Fashion Facebook

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  2. I have never really been someone who struggled with a depressed mood, I had a pretty happy childhood and usually managed to achieve whatever I set my mind to. However that all changed when I started university and my boyfriend of 25 months left me. My big first love.

    Without realising it I went down a spiral that slowly took me to a darker place. I started to become lonely, make myself lonely by avoiding new relationships whether it be romantic or friendships. I started struggling in school, picking up weight, never really participating in any societies or social activities. Somehow I never even thought about what the possible cause for this change in basically my personality was. I wasn't happy anymore and thoughts of my life being worthless and that noone will even miss me (which I now realise is not true) haunted me on a daily basis.

    It is now almost four years later. At the end of last year I started facing my demons. We had this class in which they basically forced us to do some introspection. I thought it was so stupid but now I am pretty grateful for it. Basically I started thinking about where the root of my worthlessness started. What made me believe I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, fit enough, clever enough you know all of that.

    Shortly after that I was in a social situation where my ex boyfriend was and somehow the lights finally went on and I realised that I have never forgiven myself. For some reason I have been blaming myself for our break up. Believing that I was the reason for it, I wasn't good enough for him, I was not enough. And I finally realised how stupid this was. Letting a silly boy ruin my self worth. Allowing for it to have a grip on my life even after four years.

    I guess this realisation gave me the chance to forgive myself and re-establish my self worth. I am not saying the sadness doesn't creep though from time to time, but it rarely happens these days. I feel free. And most importantly happy.

    I really hope you can also find happiness again. Fight for it, it is worth it and so are you!

    www.daisyperson.blogspot.com

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  3. 5.5 pounds!! Thats incredible!! I know you might not be happy with that but in all honesty, the slower the better. Usually losing a ton of weight straight away is the kind of weight the comes right back on after you stop "trying".
    You could be like me, I have been eating right and exercising for two straight weeks and i've gained a pound! haha But that just makes me want to work harder :)


    Renee
    www.losetheroad.blogspot.ca

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  4. LittleMissPlusSize25 January 2015 at 10:17

    Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and even more so that you have commented. Thank you, I know that we all have good and bad moments, its just realising that our bad moments aren't the end of the world. Thank you so much for commenting :) xx

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  5. LittleMissPlusSize25 January 2015 at 10:22

    Wow!! Thank you so much for taking time to comment on my post, I am sorry to hear that you have went though some tough times but I am pleased that you have turned things around and are on a more positive path now!


    Your so right, we build things and people up in our minds when in reality it doesnt seem so important. Your ex was a fool to leave you and its hard not to blame ourselves!


    So glad your happy and thank you for such a lovely, thoughtful comment! :) xx

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  6. LittleMissPlusSize25 January 2015 at 10:25

    haha I know, I think I just had it in my head that I would have lost more, silly really. I completely agree that losing weight fast will only go back on faster but I am just so impatient lol.


    Ah never! your so inspirational and you defiantly have the right attitude! It is all in our minds and the way we look at different situations. Let me know how you get on Im sure with your determination you will get to where you want to be!


    Thank you so much for commenting :) xx

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